she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
