New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
