I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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