Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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