im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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