So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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