What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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