When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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