It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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