i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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