Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
