He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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