i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
