Porn is love you can see.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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