I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
