I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
