Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
