i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize