It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Need sex. Gaining weight.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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