I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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