every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
