You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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