I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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