i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
