# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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