The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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