if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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