Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
There was a lot of him and a little penis
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
