Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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