it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
