Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
