Someone shit on the floor
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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