you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
