Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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