I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Boobs are out for the taking
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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