Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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