i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
