shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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