what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
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sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
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Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
wow bdsm is so cute
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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