Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
