Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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