He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
