So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
