As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
