We named our party play list daddy issues
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
