Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
