thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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