Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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