I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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