Dual....:-)
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
