So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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