I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
