I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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