You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
