Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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