Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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