im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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