OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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