he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
