my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You're like the curious george of whores
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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