she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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