pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
