Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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