two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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