i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Terrible idea I love it
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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